**This will be an unusual post, I must warn you reader-types. An unexpected death in the family leaves my emotions raw, and my fingertips have a broadband connection to my emotional database.**
I received news on Monday night that my dear Aunt Peggy passed away the prior night very suddenly. Hence, this entry's 'emploration' will be much more inward- than outward-focused.
Readers who have lost loved ones might understand how the short-term grieving process works. It's new to me. This week, I experienced a Monday night of shock, sobbing, horrific images in my mind and near-panic. I spent my Tuesday crying and taking Advil for the resulting sinus headaches. I went to work on Wednesday and Thursday and actually felt okay. I was busy. I didn't receive a lot of inquiries about the situation, and I managed through two solid days nearly tear-free. This led to a certain overconfidence on my part that collapsed readily this morning as I hit the Piqua city limits. Near-panic set in again as we drove up to the church, and I realized that the event was not 'really real' to me until I felt the grief of my family, relatives, and my aunt's friends and co-workers. I cried a lot but it was an important and necessary bout.
Following the service, my extended family headed back to my Aunt Sandy's house. We'd received condolences and stories from Aunt P's friends and co-workers. We'd felt the kindness of friends who set up lunch for us and discreetly excused themselves for our privacy. We'd overcome panic-laden situations to be there for ourselves and others. We spent several hours talking, recalling stories and reconnecting as a family. Aunt P would have loved it, and I have a feeling that she was there in spirit.
We lived life today in all its despair, delight and distraction.
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